Radical Acceptance: Peace Over Stress
Life has an uncanny way of throwing unexpected challenges our way. From personal losses to career setbacks and unforeseen circumstances to the harsh realities of an imperfect world, we all face moments where we wish things were different. The self-help books on acceptance are booming because of the stresses we hold on to.
When life becomes too heavy, we often resist, fight, or try to change what is simply out of our control. We say, “How can I fix this?” or “Oh, just forget it.” But what if peace lies not in the struggle but in the surrender? That sounds like a mindfulness practice: acceptance.
This post discusses how ancient wisdom and a sound clinical approach intersect.
Radical acceptance is a core principle of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
Radical acceptance is the practice of fully embracing reality as it is without judgment or resistance. It doesn’t mean we approve of or like what’s happening—it simply means we stop fighting against it. This approach, developed within DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) by Dr. Marsha Linehan, is rooted in mindfulness and the idea that suffering stems not just from pain but from our refusal to accept pain as part of life. When we resist reality, we compound our suffering with frustration, anger, and despair. Radical acceptance helps us break free from this cycle.
The Intersection of Mindfulness and Creativity
At its core, radical acceptance is deeply intertwined with mindfulness—being fully present in the moment without judgment. Mindfulness teaches us to observe our emotions and experiences without clinging to or pushing them away. This presence can be compelling in creative expression. Creativity allows us to channel our emotions, process pain, and find meaning in our experiences, whether through painting, writing, music, or movement.
When we engage in creativity with a mindful approach, we permit ourselves to express what words cannot always capture. A brushstroke can embody grief, a melody can carry longing, and a poem can be a testament to resilience. In this way, creativity becomes a form of radical acceptance—witnessing and honoring our truth without resistance.
How to Practice Radical Acceptance in Everyday Life
While radical acceptance is a profound concept and skill in DBT, it’s also deeply practical. It is not about passive submission but rather an active engagement with life as it is. Accepting reality does not mean giving up on growth or positive change; instead, it provides a grounded foundation for making thoughtful and effective decisions. Here are a few ways to integrate it into daily life:
Acknowledge Reality – The first step is to recognize and name what is happening without avoidance or distortion. Instead of wishing things were different, observe what is. This can involve stating the facts of the situation to yourself or writing them down to gain clarity.
Notice Your Resistance – Respond to the thoughts and feelings that arise when you resist reality. Do you say, “This isn’t fair,” or “It shouldn’t be this way”? Acknowledge these thoughts without judgment and recognize them as natural responses to difficulty. Remind yourself that resisting reality does not change it, but accepting it allows for a sense of inner peace.
Use Mindfulness Techniques – Ground yourself in the moment with deep breathing, body scans, or mindful observation. This helps prevent overwhelming emotions from taking control. Try using guided meditations or visualization exercises to cultivate a greater sense of presence and awareness.
Engage in Creative Expression— Use art, music, or journaling to process and accept emotions. Let creativity be a safe space to explore and honor your experiences. Expressing emotions through creativity can help you understand and work through complicated feelings without rationalizing or fixing them immediately.
Practice Self-Compassion – Acceptance does not mean passive resignation. Be kind to yourself as you navigate difficulties, recognizing that pain is part of the human experience. Speak to yourself with the kindness you would offer a close friend facing hardship.
Distinguish Between What You Can and Can Not Control—One of the most potent aspects of radical acceptance is learning to differentiate between what is within your influence and what is not. Focus your energy on what you can change while releasing attachment to outcomes beyond your control.
Remind Yourself That Acceptance Is a Process—Radical acceptance is not a one-time decision but an ongoing practice. Some days will be easier than others. Be patient and recognize that acceptance takes time, especially when facing challenging situations.
Embracing Peace Through Acceptance
Radical acceptance is a practice that takes time and patience. When working with a clinical professional who is DBT- informed, they can help you integrate the skill within the therapeutic process. It requires us to sit with discomfort, acknowledge pain without turning away, and trust that peace comes not from controlling life but from embracing it as it is. On our own, we can practice this on our own by integrating mindfulness and creativity into our journey. Then, we create a path toward healing that honors the reality of our struggles and the infinite potential of our resilience.
How can creativity support this? Wabi-Sabi!
We turn back the clock to earlier times in Japan.
Wabi-sabi is a Japanese aesthetic and philosophy that embraces imperfection, impermanence, and the beauty of things that are incomplete or flawed. It’s rooted in Zen Buddhism and encourages appreciation for the natural cycle of growth, decay, and imperfection.
Taken individually, wabi and sabi are two separate concepts:
1. Wabi is about recognizing beauty in humble simplicity. It invites us to open our heart and detach from the vanity of materialism so we can experience spiritual richness instead.
2. Sabi is concerned with the passage of time, the way all things grow, age, and decay, and how it manifests itself beautifully in objects. It suggests that beauty is hidden beneath the surface of what we actually see, even in what we initially perceive as broken.
Together, these two concepts create an overarching philosophy for approaching life: Accept what is, stay in the present moment, and appreciate the simple, transient stages of life.
There’s a plethora of wisdom embedded within the very fabric of this age-old philosophy. (5 Teachings From The Japanese Wabi-Sabi Philosophy That Can Drastically Improve Your Life — OMAR ITANI )
Key Principles of Wabi-Sabi:
• Imperfection: Cracks, asymmetry, and flaws are not mistakes but part of an object’s unique beauty.
• Impermanence: Nothing lasts forever—everything is always changing, aging, and evolving.
• Simplicity: Minimalism, raw materials, and a natural, unpolished look are valued over artificial perfection.
For example, in traditional Japanese pottery, a bowl with an uneven shape or a crack repaired with gold (a technique called kintsugi) is seen as more beautiful because it tells a story of resilience and time.
Wabi-sabi ties beautifully into radical acceptance because it teaches us to stop resisting life’s imperfections and instead find peace in them. It encourages us to see our flaws, challenges, and changes as part of our unique journey, rather than something to fix.
Here are three creative activities to help cultivate radical acceptance:
1. Wabi-Sabi Collage: Embracing Imperfection
Materials: Magazines, newspapers, glue, scissors, colored paper, markers
Instructions:
• Cut out images and words that represent things you struggle to accept about yourself or your life.
• Arrange them into a collage, deliberately allowing imperfections—ripped edges, uneven cuts, overlapping layers.
• Add drawings or words that reframe these struggles with compassion (e.g., “This is part of my journey,” “I accept what is”).
• Reflect on how imperfection makes your collage unique and beautiful, just like your life.
2. The Unfinished Story: Letting Go of Control
Materials: Notebook or paper, pen
Instructions:
• Write a short story where you introduce a challenge, an unexpected change, or an uncomfortable truth.
• Halfway through, stop writing. Let go of trying to “fix” the story or control its ending.
• Instead, write a compassionate letter to the main character, offering them acceptance just as they are in that moment.
• Reflect on how it feels to accept an unfinished story—just like life itself.
3. Ink-Wash Meditation: Flowing with What Is
Materials: Watercolor or ink, paintbrush, paper
Instructions:
• Dip your brush into ink or watercolor and paint a simple, free-flowing stroke across the paper.
• Instead of trying to “correct” it, observe and appreciate how the ink spreads, pools, and dries in unexpected ways.
• If a mistake happens, integrate it into the artwork rather than erasing it.
• Breathe deeply as you watch the ink settle, reminding yourself: “I accept things as they are.”
Final Thoughts
It is certainly not easy to always incorporate “radical acceptance” in to every situation. One might say that it is “unacceptable” in certain circumstances where we see injustice, violence and evil. However, in terms of our own trivialities and quest for having it all, radical acceptance can be a way to remind ourselves, “It is what it is.” And be grateful for what we do have now.
