My Ongoing Quest for Happiness by Embracing Zen
The world’s most renowned spiritual teachers and masters agree that we are happiest when we embrace the notion that true happiness emerges from within rather than external circumstances.
ZEN is the art of being here and now, immersed in the moment.
Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now,” teaches that living in the present moment is the key to a more fulfilled existence, free from the burdens of past regrets and future anxieties.
Similarly, Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Zen master, emphasizes mindfulness as a pathway to inner peace and joy.
The teachings of both these luminaries, along with others like Deepak Chopra and Byron Katie, converge on a shared wisdom: that happiness is an internal state of being cultivated by presence, awareness, and inner exploration.
As cliche as this sounds, I will say, “I wish I knew then what I know now.” I am pretty sure those reading this who are over 50 may agree!
My lessons of what NOT to do to find happiness
In the tapestry of my life, each misstep has been as instructive as every success. There was a time when I was ensnared by the illusion that happiness was a product of external acquisitions and validations.
Each new possession or accolade seemed like a ticket to contentment, only for the fleeting joy to dissipate, leaving a void.
It took a series of mistakes and introspections (as they still occur!) to realize that true happiness doesn’t reside in the world outside but is cultivated within the depths of one’s soul.
Here is what I have learned:
Chasing perfection: Pursuing an idealized version of life or oneself can lead to constant disappointment. Life is imperfect, and embracing its flaws can lead to greater contentment. In my opinion, body image is a source of contention for me and many women.
Reliance on material possessions: While material goods can bring temporary pleasure, they rarely offer lasting happiness. Overemphasizing their importance can lead to a never-ending cycle of wanting more. However, I enjoy having versus not having the amenities of life. But the main difference is to understand the limitations that they can bring.
Constant comparisons: Comparing oneself to others can breed feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. Everyone is on a unique journey, and such comparisons can detract from personal growth and self-acceptance. As I age, I recognize these feelings and nip them fast. The zen of realizing this has been enlightening.
Neglecting self-care: Ignoring one’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being in pursuing external goals can lead to burnout and unhappiness. Although not easy, making time for oneself is essential.
Holding onto resentments: Holding grudges or dwelling on past hurts can prevent one from moving forward and experiencing the joy of the present moment. Forgiveness, both of oneself and others, is crucial for inner peace and happiness.
In my quest for happiness, I’ve discovered as much about what to avoid as what to seek. Once, I mistook external achievements and possessions as the ultimate sources of joy, only to find them fleeting.
I’ve felt the weight of comparison, the sting of holding onto past grudges, and the emptiness of neglecting my well-being.
It’s not merely about pinpointing sources of joy but recognizing and understanding those aspects of life that pull us away from it. That is Zen.
By being vigilant of these personal pitfalls, I chart a more genuine path towards my enduring contentment. That’s not to say that there are many times when setbacks occur. It is all part of my learning. Often, those setbacks come with new lessons and ultimately serve my development.
When I delve deeper into my spirituality and align myself with the grand tapestry of existence and zen, a remarkable transformation occurs within me. The mundane becomes my drama, and I understand that I am more than my circumstances.
This alignment brings forth a heightened perspective, allowing me to see beyond the immediate and transient and into the profound depths of the universe’s design.
With this broader viewpoint, the daily tribulations and fleeting anxieties seem to diminish in significance, overshadowed by a greater purpose and understanding.
In these moments of profound connection, my happiness emerges most authentically, not as a result of external factors but as a natural emanation from recognizing my place in the vast cosmos.
I have learned that we, as spiritual beings, are experiencing the human condition as a means to growth and learning.
We may have days, weeks, or months when our moods get the best of us. The critical thing to remember is that it is all transient.
Finding our zen and happiness
So, what are the keys to maintaining the joy in our lives? Some things may or may not be your thing, but worth trying.
Here are some ideas that I have found to be helpful:
Self-Reflection: Dedicate time regularly to introspect and understand your innermost feelings, desires, and fears. This helps in grounding oneself and understanding personal needs. Believe it or not, my 45-minute drive to work is a great time to do this!
Mindful Meditation: Practicing mindfulness allows you to be present in the moment, cultivating an awareness that fosters inner peace and clarity. Although I strive to do this daily, I must admit it is a challenge to first it in on certain days.
Gratitude Journaling: By focusing on what you’re grateful for, you can shift your mindset from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life. I never thought this would be as effective as it has been. So powerful! Adding creative tools is helpful as well!
Nurturing Relationships: Building and maintaining deep, meaningful relationships provides emotional support and a sense of belonging. We are social beings and need others!
Continuous Learning: Whether through books, experiences, or personal interactions, always seek to grow and understand more about yourself and the world. I love reading books and listening to audiobooks that focus on personal development.
Physical Activity: Regular physical activity, be it yoga, walking, or any form of exercise, releases endorphins that naturally boost happiness. I must make this happen more. Like many, I can get lazy!
Nature Immersion: Spend time in nature to ground yourself, reduce stress, and gain perspective. All it takes is a 30-minute walk outdoors -it does wonders!
Limiting Technology: Designate tech-free times to connect with your surroundings and people around you, fostering genuine, undistracted interactions. My favorite activities are writing or creating art!
Acts of Kindness: Helping others through volunteer work or simple daily acts can provide a profound sense of purpose and happiness. This doesn’t have to be complicated. Open the doors for others, let the car off to the side merge in…., and stuff like that!
Setting Boundaries: Recognizing and establishing personal limits helps maintain emotional and mental well-being, allowing you to engage in activities and relationships that align with your inner self. Be an advocate for yourself; you must put yourself in the forefront.
With its timeless wisdom, Zen has illuminated that true happiness is an ever-evolving journey, enriched step by step through mindfulness and presence.
While the tranquility it offers might sometimes feel distant amidst the hustle of daily life, each introspective moment draws me nearer to that profound equilibrium.
As I traverse this path, I recognize that Zen and happiness aren’t endpoints but ongoing pursuits. I cherish the realization that I am, and will always be, a learner — constantly evolving, growing, and navigating the delicate interplay between inner peace and the world surrounding me.
